Still in the middle

Oskar's favorite person ever is his grandmom. They're each other's bestfriends. Usually, bestfriends know everything about each other. For example, my bestfriend and I can tell someone what each other is about to say before we even say it. Oskar, on the hand, knows next to nothing about his grandmom. On page 105 he says "I don't think there's anyone I spend more time with, at least not since Dad died, unless you count Buckminster. But there were a lot of people that I knew better. For example, I didn't know anything about what it was like when she was a kid, or how she meant grandpa, or what their marriage was like, or why he left. If I had to write her life story, all I could say is that her husband could talk to animals, and that I should never love anything as much as she loved me". It's obvious that she doesn't talk about her past for a reason, but what do you think that reason is? 

In the previous post, I reveled that the strange man was Oskar's grandpop, but I am still unsure of who the woman is. In the flashback on page 124, she lets him read a book that she wrote about all the things she has seen in her life. There were 2000 white, wordless pages. She hasn't seen anything, because she's blind. Neither Oskar's grandma or her sister Anna are blind, so that question will remain unanswered for now. 

Oskar played a role in the school play, Hamlet. All of the "Blacks" that he meant while he was on his journey for the lock came. I thought that meant something really special, and I feel like they all know his dad even though they said they didn't. On the last night of the play, Oskar "felt, that night, on that stage, under that skull, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone". He also, "wondered for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live" (145). When I imagined him saying this, it reminded me of internal screaming. 

He has that feeling that he can't tell anyone, because they'll just think it's nothing. Why do you think he feels like this even though he is surrounded by love?